Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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