You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Still dying that you shit outside
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
