Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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