who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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