i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
