Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
