these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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