I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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