Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
