as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
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