I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
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DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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