Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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