C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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