Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
