Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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