About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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