You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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