You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
