dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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