ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
