We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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