:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
