You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
