Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
