ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
