yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
