He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
