Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
