When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
