hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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