she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
