You can't motorboat a personality
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
