um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
