Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
