1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
