If i come over, it means nothing
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
