She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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