so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
this will be a night to untag.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
