I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
