I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
