Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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