I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize