I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
