hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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