We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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