Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dating After Heartbreak
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.