Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back