dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I love having hate sex.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.