biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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