omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
