sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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