I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
there is glitter all over my balls
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