Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
