Buhtt sex?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
