Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Randomize
