put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
one might say we're banned from that church
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
