if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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