its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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