So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
