Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize