good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
