the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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